18 simple tips to help you feel better about yourself and build you self confidence today.

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Learn how to smile and others will smile with you.

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build our self confidence, but the majority of us either ignore the issues or concentrate on the negatives: stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Concentrating on these areas drains our self confidence rather than improving it.

If you could improve your self confidence you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with other people. Below there are five simple techniques that have been proven to help build self confidence today.

1.Talk to yourself. It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realise it or not. Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts.

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages, many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from our minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages. We need to hear the positive messages as they will build self confidence and raise our self esteem. Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

As an example one of my regular sayings is “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself”. I just repeat it for a couple of minutes. It sounds cheesy, but does build self confidence – Try it. I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud “I like myself!” 50 times, it will be impossible to not smile.

2.Dress smartly and as classy as you can. You wont feel at your best if you don’t look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best. It feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment. So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self confidence today not next week. Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair! A hairdresser once told me “Everyday is show time!”

3.Give Thanks. Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing. Say “thank you” to yourself, to everything you see, everyone you meet, and each smile that you receive.

4.Stand or sit correctly: How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn’t matter, you don’t matter. Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5.Smile. Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile. If you don’t think you can try this:

1)Open your eyes as wide as you can – (try and get your eyebrows right up to you hair line)
2)Slightly open your mouth
3)Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears (If your not sure pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers).
4)Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others. This will make you feel happier and with that you’ll build self confidence today.

6. Think positive. keep your thought positive. Your thoughts and feelings create your reality (Law of Attraction) It is impossible to monitor every though but when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts think about something positive, a positive event or person and how you felt at that time.

7. Act positive. More than just thinking positively, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Acting in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.

8. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analysing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
9. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.
 
10. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write, and the practice will increase your competence.
 
11. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail because they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal youknow you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

12. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million dollars. (check out the daily success habits in this course).

13. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude. I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Also, the more gratitude you send out the more the universe will send you to be grateful for. There is a whole section on gratitude later in the course.

14. Who inspires you. We often have role models or people we admire. It could be their image, their energy, their people skills, leadership skills, the way they make life seem so easy and uncomplicated or something else. Whatever Inspires you, think about who you would like to be by considering what it is in others that you admire and aspire to. If you can see it in others, you already have that quality in you.

15. Write an achievement list. If you look back at your life, what have you already achieved? Go back to school time writing down the exams you passed, the jobs you had, the friendships you made, experiences you had and so on. You will be surprised at how much you have already achieved, and sometimes it is not until we write it down that we can actually see how successful we have already been.

16.Spend time with people who make you feel good. You are already fabulous, it doesn’t hurt to keep being reminded!

Find people that inspire you, find out what they are doing to create successful lives, follow them on Facebook or twitter, read their blogs, books etc. Spend time with happy, successful people. People that make you feel good, encourage you to be the best you can be. Learn from them. These people will naturally boost your confidence. ( as discussed in finding your support team).

17. Boost your strengths. Do more of the things you are good at. Find ways to use and grow your strengths. It is your opportunity for the greatest growth and success in your life.

18. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique, with your own skills, values, beliefs and circumstances. You may think everyone is better than you are, but you are only seeing the image they portray to others. Everyone has their own fears and weaknesses — after all, we’re all human. Be happy being you.

 

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Gratitude to changing your life – day 14 -20

We are now on week three of our daily gratitude to changing our lives. How have you all been getting on?

gratitude to changing your life

This week we are going to look at more specific things like health and relationships. As we learnt earlier in the series we can use gratitude to attract the things we want, so if health ins’t how you would like it now, affirm it how you would like it to be, same with relationships, money, job etc etc.

Day 14

Be thankful for your health. Say thank you that you are fit and healthy and that every cell in your body is perfect. Thank your arms and legs, senses, brain and every part of your body for working efficiently.
Day 15

Have a fantastic day. When you wake up thank for universe for a fantastic day. Visualise the things you have to do that day, see each appointment, client, event going well and say thank you.
Day 16
Look at relationships around you, is there a relationship that isn’t all it could be or problematic. List 10 things that you are grateful for about that person. Now this maybe a bit tricky, especially if you are feeling hurt or angry, but it is well worth it! When you have written your list imagine the person standing in front of you and read it out.

Day 17

Forgive yourself – Forgive yourself for anything you feel is not helping you to live in the present moment. It could be anything from not loving yourself, not being patient in a certain situation, not letting go of the past etc. When we forgive we let go of anger, resentment, hurt and we allow love back into our lives.

Day 18

Love yourself. Look in the mirror and thank yourself for being you. Say thank you for your beautiful eyes, hair and smile, your personality and your confidence. Thank everything about yourself. Do this every time you pass a mirror.

Day 19

What do you want to achieve this week? Write of list of things that you would like to do this. Include the jobs that need doing, time for yourself, time with your partner, job or house hunting, study etc. As you Please comment below and share with your friends.

Day 20

Be thankful for everything that you take for granted everyday. The air you breathe, water, food, gas, electric, tv, public transport etc.
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Gratitude to Changing your life days 7 – 13

gratitude to changing your life

We are now on week 2 of gratitude to change your life. How did you get on with week one? Have you started to see positive changes?

So this week we will be adding to what we learnt last week. Keep using some of the tools from last week that worked well for you and keep writing in your gratitude journal.

Day 7:

We need to learn to appreciate the people around us. Choose photos of 3 of your friends or family and stick them in your journal, now in turn write down at least 5 things that you appreciate about them and thank them for what they bring into your life. Eg. Thank you Kate for your patience and understanding. I am thankful for the laughter and happiness you bring me Kate.

Day 8:

Today is about changing your mind set from negative to positive. Try to find a positive in every situation Naturally we all talk about what is going wrong in our lives or what is missing rather than be grateful for what we do have. For example we may be struggling to find a job but we could be grateful that it allows us more free time to deal with other things.

Day 9:

Most of us are struggling with finances as we are just getting over Christmas. Be grateful every time you receive money, whether it is a small discount on something, someone paying you back or a penny you find on the street. Really feel gratitude for this small financial gain, no matter how small it is. As you are feeling the gratitude you will attract more abundance.

Day 10:

Waking up with a positive attitude is the best way to start your day. When you wake say thank you, on your way to the bathroom say thank you for the water you are about to use, the air you breath. As you get ready for your day say thank you in advance for the good day you will have. Practice saying thank you all day for every little thing.

Day 11:

Today we are going to find a gratitude rock, stone or crystal. It needs to feel nice in the palm of your hand. When you have found your perfect stone keep it with you until you go to bed and before going to sleep, close your eyes and visualize the best thing that happened to you today, when you have finished say thank you and place the stone on your bedside table. Do this every night for the next 30 nights.

Day 12:

Be grateful for your job, even if you are unemployed or hate your job. Make a list of the things that do make you happy, good workmates, friendly staff, all the tools you need to enable you to do your job etc. The more you are grateful for the more things the universe can bring in for you to be grateful for.

Day 13:

Its time to get on top of the bills! Find some old bills that you have already paid and feel grateful that you have been able to pay them and say thank you for the services that they provided you with. Now write on them, thank you – paid. Now on every new bill you receive either write thank you paid or if you are struggling to pay them write on them thank you for the money and have faith that the money will arrive.

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Gratitude to changing your life – days 1 – 7

gratitude diarySo far we have looked at all the tools available to us to help us to move forwards with our lives, leave the past behind and starting enjoying the present. It is now time to put some of the tools into practice, so over the coming 60 days we will be working with these tools and seeing what works best for us and how incorporating a few easy steps can make us feel happier, grateful, less stressed and able to live in the present.

Now is a good time to start a journal to keep track of your progress. I find it helpful looking back at how you were feeling the previous month and how far you have come in such a short time.

So here are this weeks steps, a day at a time, incorporate as many of these steps in your week as possible and keep a record of how they made you feel as you completed them.

Day 1

Get your journal and decorate it if you wish.

Day 2

Write in your journal 10+ things you were grateful for today. You can add how they made you feel, why you were grateful for them or any other information you would like to add. This step should be completed everyday.

Day 3

When someone around you does something for you, thank them and add a compliment. This will brighten someone elses day and you will also feel good. Eg, Thanks for the coffee, that jumper suits you and  brings out the colour in your eyes.

Day 4

Get in the habit of saying thank you every time you feel grateful, you can just say it in your head or write it down.

Day 5

Today we are going to be grateful for our self- confidence, whether we are confident or not. Write an affirmation that resonates with you and repeat as many times a day as you can. Eg I am grateful that i am confident and bold.

Day 6

Believing in yourself – Have faith in yourself that you can change anything you wish too. By having the belief in yourself that you can overcome your fears and worries. You can use an affirmation if you would like to i.e . I can do anything I want to, I am grateful that i believe in myself.

Please feel free to leave any comments or experiences below. I will be back next week with day 7 – 13.

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Gratitude to changing your life – Gratitude Stone

Now that we have looked at a few different tools that can be used to help us to make some major changes in our lives, we are going to start to use them over the following weeks.

This week we are going to work with a gratitude stone.

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Finding your gratitude Stone

You can choose a pebble, a stone, a crystal or anything else you feel drawn to. It needs to fit into the palm of your hand and fit easily in your pocket, other than that the choice is yours.

How to use your gratitude stone:

Hold your stone in the palm of your hand and start to think about the things you are grateful for. Lets say you are thinking about your family, think about the wonderful times you have spent together and how grateful you are for those people and experiences.

Doing this on a regular basis will also help you to bring in more things to be grateful for via the law of attraction, because like attracts like.

Each night take your gratitude stone and hold it whist writing or saying a list of things you are grateful that day, really put though and feeling in to your list. When you do this on a regular basis you will start to associate gratitude and positivity with your stone. If at anytime you are feeling low or negative you can hold on to your stone and bring yourself back to a more positive place with your charged stone.

Gratitude – Being Thankful

Gratitude

 a0508Gratitude is a feeling of thankfulness or appreciation for something, whether it is for the food you eat, your relationship, your family or anything else you have in your life.  The list of things we can be grateful for is endless and by expressing our gratitude on a daily basis we are bringing positivity into our lives. Gratitude is a very powerful emotion, it can dissolve negativity, bring happiness and make you feel good too. When we focus our attention to the things we are grateful for we are living in the present moment.

On the same note if we are ungrateful for our lives and the people and situations around us we will just bring in more negativity and less things to be grateful for. Feelings of resentment, anger, jealousy and dissatisfaction are not only negative emotions but will just bring in more of the same negative emotions. When we focus on the things we have lost we are living our lives in the past and the good things we have around us in the present are being missed or ignored.

Einstein proved that everything in the universe is made of energy and this energy vibrates on different frequencies. When we are discontent and unhappy we vibrate on a very low frequency and when we are happy and content we vibrate on a much higher frequency. One of the most powerful universal laws is the law of attraction, this law states that whatever we send out to the universe we get back, like attracts like. So if we are sending out negative thoughts and emotions we will get back more negative thoughts and emotions. If we send out positive thoughts and emotions we will get back positive thoughts and emotions.

So this is where gratitude comes into play. When we are grateful for the things we have the law of attraction and the universe will bring us more things to be grateful for. Also when we spend time looking at what we have and are grateful for we are looking at the positives in our lives and are sending out positive thoughts and emotions which will also help lift our mood, help us to stay positive and help us to live in the present. If we are constantly looking at what we have lost we will continue to live in the past and give up on all the good, positive people, events and situations around us.

So how do we use gratitude on a daily basis? It is very easy to bring gratitude into our everyday lives, the more we say thank you, the more we have things to say thank you for, like attracts like!

 

Gratitude Diary

Spending 10 minutes a day writing a gratitude diary is a great way to get started. Before you go to bed at night spend a little time thinking about your day and write down, with feeling and emotion everything that made you happy and that you were grateful for, i.e. your college brought you a coffee, the train was on time, the queue in the shop was short, you avoided getting wet in the storm, whatever it is write it down in the present tense. “ I am grateful the bus was on time”,” I am grateful for the coffee Millie brought me.” etc.

You can also use gratitude to bring in the things you would like in your life, again they need to be written in the present tense with thought, feeling and belief that you already have them otherwise they will always be in the future. For example let’s say you are having problems with a particular relationship and you would like things to become a lot easier and calmer, you could use something like “Today I am feeling love and gratitude for those people who are challenging me in my life. The love and gratitude I feel will dissolve all negativity.” Or if you would like to bring in better health you could write “I am getting better and better, every day, in every way, thank you.”

 

Mentally

Just saying “thank you” at every opportunity throughout the day is also a great way of expressing your gratitude for the positive things around you in the present moment. Mentally or silently saying thank you is a very positive way of changing your mood, bringing in more things to be grateful for and keeping your thoughts positive. Try speaking the words “thank you” from your heart, and really feel it, when you wake up in the morning whilst walking to the bathroom, it’s a great way to start the day and sets the day off in a positive way.

Here are a few gratitude ideas to get you started:

“I am grateful that my body is emanating perfect health and harmony”

“Thank you for the abundance that comes my way, every day.”

“I am truly grateful for all the new people, experiences and events that are bringing happiness into my life.”

“Thank you for my ability to love unconditionally.”

“I am truly grateful that the love that surrounds me today and every day.”

“I am grateful that I can easily and willingly forgive those who have hurt or wronged me, enabling me to live in and enjoy the present.”

gratitude

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