18 simple tips to help you feel better about yourself and build you self confidence today.

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Learn how to smile and others will smile with you.

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build our self confidence, but the majority of us either ignore the issues or concentrate on the negatives: stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Concentrating on these areas drains our self confidence rather than improving it.

If you could improve your self confidence you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with other people. Below there are five simple techniques that have been proven to help build self confidence today.

1.Talk to yourself. It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realise it or not. Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts.

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages, many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from our minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages. We need to hear the positive messages as they will build self confidence and raise our self esteem. Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

As an example one of my regular sayings is “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself”. I just repeat it for a couple of minutes. It sounds cheesy, but does build self confidence – Try it. I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud “I like myself!” 50 times, it will be impossible to not smile.

2.Dress smartly and as classy as you can. You wont feel at your best if you don’t look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best. It feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment. So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self confidence today not next week. Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair! A hairdresser once told me “Everyday is show time!”

3.Give Thanks. Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing. Say “thank you” to yourself, to everything you see, everyone you meet, and each smile that you receive.

4.Stand or sit correctly: How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn’t matter, you don’t matter. Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5.Smile. Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile. If you don’t think you can try this:

1)Open your eyes as wide as you can – (try and get your eyebrows right up to you hair line)
2)Slightly open your mouth
3)Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears (If your not sure pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers).
4)Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others. This will make you feel happier and with that you’ll build self confidence today.

6. Think positive. keep your thought positive. Your thoughts and feelings create your reality (Law of Attraction) It is impossible to monitor every though but when you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts think about something positive, a positive event or person and how you felt at that time.

7. Act positive. More than just thinking positively, you have to put it into action. Action, actually, is the key to developing self-confidence. It’s one thing to learn to think positive, but when you start acting on it, you change yourself, one action at a time. You are what you do, and so if you change what you do, you change what you are. Acting in a positive way, take action instead of telling yourself you can’t, be positive. Talk to people in a positive way, put energy into your actions. You’ll soon start to notice a difference.

8. Get to know yourself. When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analysing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.
9. Know your principles and live them. What are the principles upon which your life is built? If you don’t know, you will have trouble, because your life will feel directionless. Think about your principles … you might have them but perhaps you haven’t given them much thought. Now think about whether you actually live these principles, or if you just believe in them but don’t act on them.
 
10. Increase competence. How do you feel more competent? By becoming more competent. And how do you do that? By studying and practicing. Just do small bits at a time. If you want to be a more competent writer, for example, don’t try to tackle the entire profession of writing all at once. Just begin to write more. Journal, blog, write short stories, do some freelance writing. The more you write, the better you’ll be. Set aside 30 minutes a day to write, and the practice will increase your competence.
 
11. Set a small goal and achieve it. People often make the mistake of shooting for the moon, and then when they fail because they get discouraged. Instead, shoot for something much more achievable. Set a goal youknow you can achieve, and then achieve it. You’ll feel good about that. Now set another small goal and achieve that. The more you achieve small goals, the better you’ll be at it, and the better you’ll feel. Soon you’ll be setting bigger (but still achievable) goals and achieving those too.

12. Change a small habit. Not a big one, like quitting smoking. Just a small one, like writing things down. Or waking up 10 minutes earlier. Or drinking a glass of water when you wake up. Something small that you know you can do. Do it for a month. When you’ve accomplished it, you’ll feel like a million dollars. (check out the daily success habits in this course).

13. Be grateful. I’m a firm believer in gratitude. I put it here because while being grateful for what you have in life, for what others have given you, is a very humbling activity … it can also be a very positive and rewarding activity that will improve your self-image. Also, the more gratitude you send out the more the universe will send you to be grateful for. There is a whole section on gratitude later in the course.

14. Who inspires you. We often have role models or people we admire. It could be their image, their energy, their people skills, leadership skills, the way they make life seem so easy and uncomplicated or something else. Whatever Inspires you, think about who you would like to be by considering what it is in others that you admire and aspire to. If you can see it in others, you already have that quality in you.

15. Write an achievement list. If you look back at your life, what have you already achieved? Go back to school time writing down the exams you passed, the jobs you had, the friendships you made, experiences you had and so on. You will be surprised at how much you have already achieved, and sometimes it is not until we write it down that we can actually see how successful we have already been.

16.Spend time with people who make you feel good. You are already fabulous, it doesn’t hurt to keep being reminded!

Find people that inspire you, find out what they are doing to create successful lives, follow them on Facebook or twitter, read their blogs, books etc. Spend time with happy, successful people. People that make you feel good, encourage you to be the best you can be. Learn from them. These people will naturally boost your confidence. ( as discussed in finding your support team).

17. Boost your strengths. Do more of the things you are good at. Find ways to use and grow your strengths. It is your opportunity for the greatest growth and success in your life.

18. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique, with your own skills, values, beliefs and circumstances. You may think everyone is better than you are, but you are only seeing the image they portray to others. Everyone has their own fears and weaknesses — after all, we’re all human. Be happy being you.

 

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My Story!

The years have gone by so fast and its not until I look back over everything that has happened that I realise I have been through a lot and achieved a lot too.

I got married at 21 and had my first child at 21, things were pretty good, six years later, after fertility treatment, I had my second child. Shortly after she was born I left my Husband because his behaviour was unreasonable and he did nothing but watch sport on the tv and shout at the kids.

I spent a few months on my own with the kids and it wasn’t long before I met someone new. Things moved along really quickly and it wasn’t long before he moved in. Things were going really well and he was great with the kids. After about 2 years he started to change and things became quiet difficult at times. He was a compulsive lier! Over the course of a 10 year relationship he left or had affairs numerous times but each time it didn’t work out he would come back, I would allow him to come back! He would start to call me constantly, then he would start with the suicide threats until I gave in. Each time he would promise to get help and sort himself out. The lies were incredible and his moods would change instantly. He put me in hospital once after he decided to beat me up. He told everyone that his dad sexually assaulted him on a train when he was a child and all sorts of other nonsense because he was an attention seeker and he basically didn’t know the difference between truth and lies.

When things were good, they were really good but when things were bad, they were really bad. During this time I had my third child, which was a real shock as I would told I would never have any more children unless I underwent more fertility treatment!

At the time we had a cake business that was doing really well. He was a smooth talker and a charmer so getting clients was easy for him. One day I receive a complaint that a birthday cake hadn’t arrived so I obviously questioned him about it, of course I got nothing but lies from him. He would go and see the clients and take the deposits, but he wasn’t putting it all through the books so the orders couldn’t be put through the books either. He started going out a lot and would disappear over night. One night he told me that he had been locked up for being drunk and disorderly, yet another lie. A couple of days later I got a call from a bride who was incredibly upset that her wedding cake hadn’t arrived!! There were no records of this order of course. This was my final tipping point, I had people arriving at my house because they hadn’t received orders and he wasn’t answering his phone. I called the police and reported what had happened, packed his stuff, left it outside and told him to collect it.

It was at this point I decided enough was enough and it was only me that could change all this. He was never going to have a hold over me again and neither was anyone else. Luckily for me neither of the kids dad’s were really interested in them so I never had to share them, they were just mine. Of course this meant they didn’t pay child maintenance or have them at all but I was very ok with this. It was them that kept me going.

I Decided to have my very first Tarot reading. He always joked “what do you think you are psychic” because I would know exactly when I would received the suicide threats. So I thought I would give it a go. I called a lovely lady called Trish who came to see me a few days later. I had a great reading with her and she really set me off on a new path. She confirmed that yes I was Psychic and I should be working as a healer. She initiated me into Reiki 1 and 2. I joined a spiritual group where I learned how to read Tarot and Angel cards, meditate and connect with my guides. I took a course in crystal healing and finished my Reiki master/teacher degree. I met some lovely people along my journey and I also met some not so lovely people. I had a really good clearing of all the things that didn’t serve me including friends and sadly one of my teachers as she had a very strange way of treating pupils that were doing really well for themselves. I got a job on Psychic Today and things were looking really good.

Within a few weeks of ending the relationship my youngest daughter had a horrific accident. My eldest daughter for some unknown reason lit a tea light candle and put it on the coffee table. My youngest daughter sat on the table not realising there was a candle on it and it set her dress alight, it was a dressing up dress which was highly flamable. I was downstairs at this time, we lived in a town house. My eldest daughter dragged her down the stairs with her dress alight and one of my friends dropped and rolled her and got her in a cold shower whilst we called the ambulance. She was taken to our local hospital and then rushed to a burns unit just over an hour away. The burns on her back were severe, her arms, bottom and hair were not as bad. She was in the hospital for 10 days and sent home. After a day at home she was rushed back in to under go surgery as she wasn’t healing and she had become infected. She had to have skin graphs on her back and was in hospital for another 5 days. My friends were great helping out with my other daughter, my son was pretty self sufficient at this time. Whist I was at the hospital I had a call from my friend telling me that my other daughter was really unwell. I left my youngest daughter for a few hours to check on my other daughter. I told her I would be back in a few hours. My other daughter was complaining of belly ache and rolling around on the floor. She was a proper drama queen, so I told her I was going to spend some time with her, she really didn’t need to roll around the floor. I though she was just a bit jealous as I hadn’t seen her much over the last 10 days. She carried on so I called the doctor, as I did she was very sick and it was green! They made an emergency appointment for me to take her straight in. The doctor checked her over and sent her straight to the Hospital with suspected appendicitis! The hospital took one look at her and she was in theatre within 15 minutes of arriving. When they came out to tell me how she was doing they informed me it was about to burst! She had only been unwell for a few hours, I was really shocked, I had no idea it could happen so fast. I now had to choose which daughter to spend the night with, in which hospital and in which county!

My eldest was released the following afternoon and went straight to my mums so that I could go back to the other hospital and be with my youngest. My youngest recovered well, the skin graphs took and I did lots of Reiki and massage with her. The doctors were impressed at the speed she was recovering. We had to go to the hospital 3 times a week to change dressings, eventually it went down to two, then one and after a year we didn’t have to go back. The trips were taking up most of my time as it was 90 minutes each way and would just get back in time to get my other two from school.

I continued my study and focused on just me and kids. I put everything I learned into practice. I used gratitude and forgiveness on a daily basis to help me to leave the past behind me and focus on my present moment. I was learning so much and I wanted to share all of this with my clients so I took a life coaching course and many other courses so that I could build programs and session to help my friends and my clients.

After four years of my friends nagging me to get out and meet people (I do like my own company and am perfectly happy on my own) I gave in and let one of my friends build me a profile on an internet dating site. It was fun for about an hour but it really didn’t sit right with me so I asked her to take it down. I would find another way to meet someone. I had read the book the secret and studied the law of attraction and cosmic ordering, so I thought it would be a great idea to cosmically order my perfect partner. So I did and 3 weeks later he arrived!! He has two children so my family has grown from 4 to 7, it can be very hectic when we are all together. I will tell you more about this in another article.

We went on holiday to Rome, it was fantastic, we loved it. We talked a lot when we got back about how lovely it would be to move to Italy, but we had no idea how we could make this happen. A year later we took my daughters to Rome and at that point we decided we were moving to Italy! We had no idea where in Italy we were moving to but we were moving. 8 months later we moved here! I will share with you exactly how we manifested this in another article.

I now have my dream home, my perfect partner and everything else I want, but that doesn’t mean life is always easy! Since we moved here back in July mother nature has certainly had something to say about it. Within 4 weeks of being here we experienced our first earthquake, and have had many, many more since. They hadn’t had an earthquake in this part of Italy for nearly 20 years! Then we experienced the Sirocco winds that tore though our land and finally this month more snow than ever. So to say thing have been exciting here is an understatement!

Life hasn’t always been easy and I have been through my fair share of difficult times but that isn’t going to stop me getting what I want and helping other make major changes in their lives too. My mum will tell you I am one of the unluckiest people ever because nothing ever goes right or doesn’t happen easily, the way I planned or without problems. But I still make it happen!

If you would like to know more about my programs and packages to help you leave the past behind you and create a life you are excited about then please visit my website.

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5 Tips On How To Build Self Confidence Today

5 simple tips to help you feel better about yourself and build you self confidence today. Learn how to smile and others will smile with you.

There are very few people who could call themselves perfect and be right. Most of us need to build our self confidence, but the majority of us either ignore the issues or concentrate on the negatives: stress, worry, jobs, money problems and relationship issues. Concentrating on these areas drains our self confidence rather than improving it.

If you could improve your self confidence you could make more money, look and feel better physically, or just be more relaxed with other people. Below there are five simple techniques that have been proven to help build self confidence today.

1. Talk to yourself. It sounds crazy but it works. All of us have a running monologue constantly in our heads, whether we realize it or not. Everything we see, hear, or touch sparks off an immediate dialog in our thoughts.

For those who lack confidence this monologue is filled with negative messages, many of which are the negative side of adverts from television, radio, newspapers, and just overhearing other people talk.

These negative thoughts literally suck energy from our minds and bodies and block the flow of positive messages. We need to hear the positive messages as they will build self confidence and raise our self esteem. Take control. Use your inner thoughts to talk to yourself in a positive manner, as often as you can.

As an example one of my regular sayings is “I like myself, I like myself, I like myself”. I just repeat it for a couple of minutes. It sounds cheesy, but does build self confidence  – Try it. I bet that if you go to the mirror right now and repeat out loud “I like myself!” 50 times, it will be impossible to not smile.

2. Dress as smartly and as classy as you can. You wont feel at your best if you don’t look your best. You will be amazed at just how much more confidence you will have just looking your best. It feels good when you are wearing your best clothes, are well groomed, and are surrounded by a clean environment. So what if it is Saturday, you need to build self confidence today not next week. Put on your nice clothes, get the car washed, style that hair! A hairdresser once told me “Everyday is show time!”

3. Increase your self esteem even more by giving thanks to what you are, how you look, and what you are doing. Say “thank you” to yourself, to everything you see, everyone you meet, and each smile that you receive.

4. Stand or sit correctly: How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you. This results in improving how you feel about yourself and will build self confidence today and every day.

There is scientific evidence that shows how posture affects our mood. Do not slouch. Slouching produces a down mood. By slouching you are telling the world and yourself it doesn’t matter, you don’t matter. Standing tall and upright will actually lift your mood. Help build up your confidence by pulling back those shoulders, stop that slouch, and walk proud.

5. Smile. Just smile and things seem better somehow. Practice smiling regularly and get your facial muscles used to the physical act of smiling.

Go to the mirror and smile – make yourself. Not a grimace, but a proper smile. If you don’t think you can try this:

1)Open your eyes as wide as you can – (try and get your eyebrows right up to you hair line)
2)Slightly open your mouth
3)Pull the corners of your mouth back towards your ears (If your not sure pull them back with your fingers so you know what it feels like then try again without your fingers).
4)Repeat 50 times. Get your facial muscles used to smiling and you will smile more and encourage smiles from others. This will make you feel happier and with that you’ll build self confidence today.